Every year for four fucktarded years I have been liveblogging the 33.5 hour long comedy epic that befalls Liverpool, England every… uh… year.
Shut up. I haven’t slept, and I’ve got two days of this ahead of me – it’s only going to get cocksplittingly worse.
And so. It begins.
Who, praytell. be our players in this here epic comic jamboree?
Doc – He’s a doctor. (I am here to help)
Sal Loon – salloon owner, who has both whisky and beer.
Bear – People think he’s a nice guy – but he’s going to make things change. Or something. I stopped listening.
Three Mexicans who all have names. They are looking for water, rather than doing my Goddamn gardening.
Sally May Swallow – Went in search of an Indian man, so dressed like one. And brought some shoes.
Will Stanton – Culinary Revengalist
Dosie Doe – Teacher. She is good at learnedings.
Jessie Ray Stanton – Wants to be the most popular prostitute this side of town.
Cecil Shitstalker – He’s German. And a bounty hunter. He should just go to the corner store, they have like five of them.
Grey Gardens – funeral director. I’ve never seen a funeral director yell ‘cut’ and do a
Whipper Bille Wilson, Cracker Jack Wilson – They are brothers. I assume. Their father died and they are taking over his business of selling Tumbleweeds.
Stan Pede (not ‘Stan Pedo‘, as I misheard) – He does not do violence any more, but he loves America.
Katie Stanton – There are only two men she loves more than life itself, her husband and the Lord.
Tom Bullweeds – Texas Ranger. Said words. I got distracted trying to fix the live-ness of the blog
Jimmy Dingleweed – too dumb for school, now he’s an amateur deputy.
Rusty Badge – Sherriff. Sherrif? Sheriff. Shut up.
Mayor Arch Stanton – He’s the mayor.
(THOUSANDS of words and HUNDREDS of pictures follow…)
