This week:
Hunger Games feeds Hollywood bank accounts, and Dina Lohan wants you to call her.

The Hunger Games opens big,
Not as big as hunger in Africa.

The hype worked out for The Hunger Games, which has pulled in $30 million in it’s first night, and is expected to hit $140 million by the end of opening weekend.

As much as I’d like to see Jennifer Lawrence getting hot and sweaty, I shall not be going to view it, because I already saw that movie back in 2000 when it was Japanese and called Battle Royale.

Sure, in Battle Royale you had to ‘read’ the talking… But reading it’s nothing to be afraid of.

You should be more afraid of what’s in your drinking water, and how stupid you look in that hat.

Dina Lohan signs up to ‘Celebrity Hotline’.
‘Celebrity Hotline’ misused by me instantly.

Suddenly, incest doesn't seem so bad...

Dina Lohan, mother of frequent nip-slipper Lindsay Lohan, signed up to the Dial-A-Star ‘celebrity hotline’ service, which allows anyone to call up a celebrity on their books, for the not-at-all-insane price of $10-$25 a minute – with a minimum cost of $50 a call.  Of the many ‘stars’ you can have access to, she is one of the three I’ve actually heard of.  I’m tempted to call up A.J. Benza, just to ask who the fuck he is…

Why did she sign up, you ask?  Other than the guarantee of $50 a call, Lohan wanted to have the opportunity to be called directly by the tabloid media… and complete fucking mentals. But mostly for the first reason:

“Being in the entertainment world for 30-odd years there are so many inaccuracies in the media and for me, if I can get people to call … you can reach out and tell the truth as to all the BS out there about your life.”

Of course, Lohan is kinda responsible for leaking ‘all the BS’ to the media.  But let’s ignore that, and focus on how when I called, she seemed perfectly fine with acting as a phone sex operator.  So I guess there’s that option too.  Although it does make for a very expensive wank – so best to borrow someone else’s phone before you call.

THAT IS THE NEWS.