This week in celebrity news:
National Cleavage Day renamed, James Cameron sinks to new lows, Tulisa’s sextape is disappointing and Jon Hamm saves the day.
National Cleavage Day renamed to
National Less Clothes Than Normal Day
Friday was National Cleavage Day, which saw women all over the world… uh… have… breasts…. and… squish them together or push them up.
Which is great, obviously. Every day should be National Show Off Your Boobs Day.
Ann Summers celebrated the day (and were very probably responsible for its conception) by having women walk around the streets of London in their underwear. And all catch colds.
Although, based on the photo, I can’t help notice the lack of cleavages in that picture. Maybe it should be National Underwear Day, rather than National Cleavage Day.
Or maybe there should be more cleavages on show all the time, and then the world would be a better place.
James Cameron sinks to new lows…
No, he didn’t appear on Jersey Shore.
James Cameron literally went to new lows…
at the bottom of the ocean…
the deepest depths of the ocean.
Because he’s James fucking Cameron, and he can do what the fuck he wants.
Some say it’ll help him in writing the next Avatar movie, which is to be set under the seas of… Avatarland.
Alternatively, he might have just been hanging around his evil volcano lair and said
“It’s too hot here, where is the coldest, wettest place, where the pressure is powerful enough to crush me like a grape in a vice?”
There were no flights to Wisconsin, so he chose the bottom of the ocean.
And frankly, I would have done the same.
If you’re at the front page, there’s more celebrity news after the jump>>>
Tulisa sextape dissapointing
Despite the uproar about N-DUBZ ‘singer’ Tulisa Contostavlos having a sex tape, and then admitting to having a sex tape, the sex tape itself is a huge letdown.
Seeing as Tulisa often looks like the winner of National Cleavage Day, you’d imagine a tape of her participating in lewd, fitly, disgusting, wonderful sexual acts would be a great way to lose an hour of your day…
Over and over again…
Until the images of her naked form are etched into your mind.
But no. Instead, it’s six minutes of this:
Jon Hamm makes the world a better place
Possibly one of the best people working in Hollywood today, Jon Hamm spoke out yet again at the inanity and retardation of celebrity culture.
Let’s backtrack. Hamm originally pissed off the morons at the bottom of the celebrity barrel with this statement:
“Whether it’s Paris Hilton or Kim Kardashian or whoever, stupidity is certainly celebrated. Being a f—ing idiot is a valuable commodity in this culture because you’re rewarded significantly.”
To which professional masturbatory aid Kardashian responded:
“We’re all working hard and we all have to respect one another… Calling someone who runs their own businesses, is a part of a successful TV show, produces, writes, designs, and creates, ‘stupid,’ is in my opinion careless.”
She said, stupidly.
Whilst simultaneously writing, producing, designing, businessing and showing TVs.
Hamm continued his tirade against fucking morons, who claimed his statement was ‘careless’ and became the frontrunner for Hero Of 2012:
“I don’t think it was careless. I think it was accurate,”
And on the subject of Kardashian’s boobs:
“I guess it’s better than the alternative. I mean, what’s the opposite of a sex symbol? A person who makes children cry when they see their picture?”
Hooray for Jon Hamm. And also for Mad Men.
Is that the news?
THAT IS THE NEWS.