Under normal conditions, these columns are monthly and are deconstructing the Disney movies in order of release, done in a very mature, factual, not at all childish manner and are entirely expletive-free. But it’s Christmas, so I’m doing something different as a gift to you all.

The pre-Christmas special is already up, this is (obviously) the Christmas special, and in another three days there’ll be a post-Christmas special, for no reason whatsoever.

So it back, relax, have a bit of turkey and splash it down with egg nog so you don’t choke yourself to death, and enjoy my merciless slaughter of Disney’s hate crime against all of humanity, the 48-minute audiovisual sensory rape that is… A Disney Christmas Gift.